Pete Wentz is Ridiculous

Alright, I had to ask Ashlee who this guy is. I know him as the guy making Ashlee Simpson look pretty desperate (she's so pretty with that new face, she can do SO much better). Here's what I've learned:
1) He's in a band. Fall Out Boy. They had a song I really hated. I still really hate it, now a little bit more, having seen what follows here.
2) He still lives with his parents, even though he's 25-28.
3) He sent pictures of his dick to some girl, who in turn posted them on the internet (I've seen them. I giggled. Penises are funny).
4) The eyeliner is "totally hawt" (the gospel according to Ashlee).
5) OMG! Ashlee just gave me more. This "special" guy calls himself the makeout king and says anyone from the waist up is fair game. Awwww, they haven't made romance like that since the 50's.

I have all the necessary means to find out if any of this is true, but that's pretty much more than I could ever have needed to know about him. So here he is, explaining his guyliner. That is, explaining WHY he wears it (to test boundaries, says he...not because he's a cookie cutter little emo twat) and HOW to apply it. Did you hear me? A tutorial on how to apply guyliner. This is why my son isn't allowed access to the internet.
Ever.
Ever in life.
And also why when he gets older and asks why all of his friends have their own computers and things they call "screen names," I'll explain that his friends are from the devil and are using the magics.