Paris and Nicole Are Lying Liars Who Lie

This painfully simple clip is supposed to be Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie making up after their famed "feud" for the upcoming season of The Simple Life. And except for it being entirely scripted and planned, and for the fact that it's in a restaurant when Nicole clearly doesn't eat and Paris isn't ordering off any menu that doesn't serve cock, it's really heartwarming. Paris sits shooting daggers into Nicole as she tells her that she didn't say "half" that stuff and blames the tabloids for making it up. Then she tells Paris that she can smell her lady garden and asks her to wear slacks during the next shot to barricade a bit of it back into the delta from whence it came. Then Paris smacks her with a baguette, and Nicole bursts into flames from having been touched by actual food. Then the screen goes all black and the emergency broadcast system comes on. And you know what? Fuck these two for saying anything has ever been made up about them. When you act like this, there's no need to delve into one's imagination for material. Seriously.