Watch this and come right back. And when I say RIGHT back, I mean come right back, not go to the kitchen for a snack and then go out for a cigarette. I mean come right back. Fuck, I thought I was pretty clear. Lookie here.
You back? Sorry about that. I know it wasn't fun, but it had to be done. That's a Rosie video blog. Scary, right? People WILLINGLY watch that. I thought we should discuss it. I want to start with Helene, because Helene ate through the entire blog while wearing aviator sunglasses. I found that entirely absurd. She also starts off by saying that she was at Sephora shopping for makeup and someone recognized her. I also found that absurd, cause honey could have used some bronzer and maybe a little lip gloss. A Sephora gal would know that. From this statement alone I have concluded that Helene is a liar.
Moving on...the fellas hit on a lot of topics that appeared to interest nobody else in the world, save for the three of them. However, there are a couple of WTF moments in there that I don't think we should ignore. Like that part where they condone drunk driving. I don't care how many times you yell "I'm not saying it's right." If that phrase is following or preceding "I used to drink and drive all the time," then you're condoning it. Or if you're saying, as Jeanette did, "If you're at the bar, you have to get home SOMEhow" (I paraphrased...I'm not watching that again to get the direct quote) then yea, you're ENCOURAGING it. It's all good, though. Rosie found a way to drag the media into it and show how they're all lying to us. Again.
"These white sex-scandal newscasters are pontificating..." blah blah blah. We get it, Ro. Alcohol caused 9/11.
The part that caught TMZ's eye was when Rosie stated that it's in Ellen (DeGeneres) contract that she can't talk about being gay. This isn't true, and I'm reasonably certain Rosie made it up as she was saying it. She actually looked surprised by it herself.
TMZ contacted a rep for Telepictures, producers of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," who jokingly said "She's gay? Who knew?" The rep then added that this is completely untrue, and that they have no such contracts with any of their hosts, saying,"Ellen is free to talk about whatever she wants and we encourage her to do so."
On an episode this week, Ellen joked about being able to stand upright following her recent back injury, saying, "I'm not quite straight. Well, you know that."
It almost seems like they're coming in for the finish, but no. The boys go back to viewer mail. One viewer calls them a "sexy speaking Mount Rushmore." I ask for a knife at this point. Scissors. Anything to end this. But no, I must push forward. A beacon of hope: a viewer asks Rosie if she is an Ani Difranco fan. Might Rosie and I have found our common ground? I cross my everything and wait...then punch my monitor when Ro admits to never having heard her and calls her "the first Alanis." They read an email in terrible British accents, Jeanette yells out something about wanting sausage, a quick conversation about the composition of English sausage ensues, and we are finally done. May any respect I may have had for Rosie O'Donnell and that lovable bulldog face of hers rest in peace.
There's two reasons that I talked to you about this, gang:
1) I giggled when I thought up "Three Men and a Webcam"
2) I found a video blog by Jackie Mason calling Rosie O'Donnell and anyone who listens to her (and also all of America, but ignore that part) a maniac. That's just good clean fun. As a new practice here at Don't Judge Me, anytime there is a Jackie Mason video blog pertaining to the subject at hand even remotely, we're posting it. If Jackie Mason says it, it's GOT to be true.
Source: r blog and TMZ
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