Summary Judgment: 1408

Sick days are good for more than a few things, catching up on the past two weeks of So You Think You Can Dance not being the least of those. Sick days are also good for watching a lot of movies you might not otherwise have time for. Such was the case yesterday, when I viewed Because I Said So, Evan Almighty, and 1408. My judgment on the first two, accordingly: Because I Said So- sucked, but Mandy Moore is so cute that I wish I didn't have to hate her on account of the Zach Braff fiasco, and I also really wish they hadn't worked in a way for her to sing, and golly but I wish I had sisters. Evan Almighty- Entertaining with an asterisk. And the asterisk is: If you're in a hotel, and you've got four channels to choose from, and one of them is TBS and it's showing Evan Almighty...in that instance, it's entertaining. But so is, like, the phone book. Or Telemundo. Equally. Also, why did I watch so many movies with Lauren Graham yesterday? Am I subconsciously drawn to her? I have to investigate this.

1408, I feel, deserves some time dedicated to it. As with any review, expect spoilers. One of the things you need to know about me is that I am a disenchanted Stephen King enthusiast, for reasons Sug and I have never been able to agree upon. My point here is I've been considerably wary of Stephen King and unable to thoroughly enjoy him as I have in years past since he wronged me in one fashion or another. Previously I've hated all film versions of King's work because I felt the film never captured the full story. This aversion to King on film coupled with my current dissatisfaction with his craft made me less than enthusiastic to watch this movie. However, as a John Cusack fan/stalker since his Lloyd Dobler days, I had to watch. I have pledged my undying love to Lloyd Dobler, after all.

1408 has us following Mike Enslin, a writer currently working on a piece that finds him spending the night in notorious haunts. His early dialogue stating that there's no such thing as ghosts, no such thing as the after-life, no such thing as God leads us to believe that he's been scorned by the Lord, and I'm already rolling my eyes at an obvious King story-line: scorned writer must face his personal demons, likely while battling an addiction, to properly tell this, his preeminent story, and reconcile with those he's wronged while battling through the dark. Yawn. I liked this better when Johnny Depp was the scorned be-demoned writer, say sorry Mr Cusack.

Samuel L. Jackson plays the part of the forboding hotel manager, warning our troubled hero to stay out of 1408, for the love of God, motherfucker. Except he didn't say motherfucker once, and I was disappointed by that. His part is minimal, but as is the essence of Sam Jackson, his small role is enough to remember him to you throughout the film. It's also enough for you to get right pissed at the Sears fellow who sold you your refrigerator. Had I known there was a model that included Sam Jackson yelling at me from it's depths upon searching for a beverage, I certainly would have ponied up the extra cash to have added that option.

Without giving away too much (and certainly in hopes of avoiding the wrath of the Censormatic 2000) I give you my final judgment of 1408: It successfully scared me and kept me watching the clock in hopes of an ending in sight as I endured the vision that is John Cusack trashing his hotel room in true rock star style. Scared me to the point that I uttered the phrase, "Baby, John Cusack is scaring me" no less then three times while watching. I awarded extra points for the ending, simply because it went exactly where I expected it to and then dug itself right back out of that predictable hell, and while the last five minutes felt slightly Hallmark and simple to me, I wasn't entirely disappointed. I am, however, left questioning how I would have felt about the film had it been cast differently. Were it not for John Cusack and Samuel L Jackson, would I have bothered with it? I think not, and I don't think I'm alone.

Of the film, I'd say I'm pleased in a subdued fashion. It spooked me, I felt it was shot cleverly, and early reviews from internet geeks have likened it to Hitchcock or Kubrick. I'm not sure if I agree with that comparison strongly enough to agree with that statement, but it's out there. Of the actors, I'd say they made the best of what could be made with it, and this movie would have stayed off most any radar without their involvement. However, and I hate to do this, I felt that John Cusack simply channeled Martin Blank for this role. And while I love Martin Blank and all that he embodies, and while the very existence of Martin Blank and his undeniably well delivered dialogue was in fact the baseboard for my friendship with Sug, I didn't entirely feel that Martin Blank deserved to be tortured in room 1408. I felt that Martin Blank could have been wittier and would have been wittier, if it weren't for the new inner demon he was battling. But honestly, after killing the president of Parguay with a fork, how much bigger can your demons GET? Of the story, I say well done with a side of meh. It's not often that a "scary" movie goes the full distance of scaring me instead of settling for simply grossing me out. However, it is quite often that a scary movie saves the hero at the last second (fuck you, I said there were spoilers at the beginning) and for that I'm considerably less enthusastic. Of Stephen King, I say try harder. I'm not quite back yet, sir.