Britney in Her Panties. Ugh. Just Ugh.

I was going to continue ignoring all of the Britney madness that has taken over this week, but while standing in line at Starbucks I had an epiphany: the best way to get the increased traffic we need (don't get me wrong, we love the thousand or so of you who read us, but we're thinking about our retirements from the real world here, so we've gotta think big) is to have Britney Spears slap me. Slap me in public. And hopefully call me some names while a TMZ camera rolls tape on the entire thing. So, really, while I'm entirely bored with her as well as her overexposed ass/vagina/breasts, I'm gonna have to take one for the team here. Also, my cat seems to think we should be taking responsibility for this girl's actions, and who am I to go against the wishes of my cat? He's a noted scholar.



So, here we have Britney Spears going for a swim in Malibu. And who am I to begrudge the girl a dip to escape the heat? I assume my problem with this is evident to the lot of you: them there are panties. Sheer ones. And a very pink bra. And $3 hair extensions. And Bono's glasses. See, none of this is okay. And while I give her points for being in decent shape at the moment, and additional points for none of the visible skidmarks I expected of the rearview from this little publicity stunt, I must deduct all points for going swimming in front of the paparrazzi in her underthings. Because for someone who can't remember panties when she's wearing the shortest of skirts and climbing out of any number of automobiles (again, in front of the photogs)I find it hard to believe that she just happened to be wearing underwear (clean ones, at that) on this particular day and she just happened to be okay with wearing JUST said knickers in front of the camera. And while I'm just as big a fan of all the crazy as the next person, I'm NOT one to enjoy blatant publicity-desperate behavior such as this. It's bad enough that I listened to no less than 25 different clips of your new "single" this morning trying to determine which one just might be the real deal, but this is going too far. No, Britney, just no. I may be allowing Posh to play me like a fiddle at the moment, but I draw the line when your attempts at grabbing my attention also force me to examine the hq photos zoomed in 200% while I look for a stray pubic hair to ridicule. Indeed, I draw the line.


Source: Daily Mail