David Beckham Has a Blog, Can Type

Hold my calls, people, I've found myself a new celebrity blog. And not just any celebrity, but our brand spankin new celebrity, David Beckham. If you're not already obsessed with reading the blogs of random celebrities, then you should be. In fact, I may make it a project this weekend to put together a list of my favorite celebrity blogs for you. Of course, now that I've said that I am positive that I won't get around to doing so and it'll be just one more empty promise that I'll only feel mild guilt about. So shut up already, because really, who the fuck do you think you are, telling me what to do? Huh?

Right...here's David Beckham's blog, and while there's only his introductory post at the moment, I'm so super duper excited to check back every day. I can't wait until he gets drunk after a huge fight with Posh one night and things start to get real. Away with me, darlings, into the realm of possibilities:

Piss it, I'm so stinking sick of this twat. Katie KATE Holmes has been hiding in me basement for weeks now wearing the cleaning lady's knickers. I told V she had to get her out by week's end or I'd be renting out a flat for meself until she left. V took a run at me but I distracted her with me keys, and now I'm locked in the pool house. And V's crazy if she thinks I won't ring Tom to come and get his bird out of me basement, because I will. Bloody hell, either the cryptkeeper's hollering at the window or V lost interest in the keys. Usually takes her an hour to look away from something shiny, must find a new trick. Note to self: purchase lifesize leather-clad Karl Lagerfeld wax doll for V to chat with. Right, I'm off. I should have taken me chances with Lesbian Spice...