There's a story here, guys, but I don't really care about it. Johnny Depp and his longtime girlfriend Vanessa Parawhocaresshesnotgoodenoughforhimanyway are off on a boat somewhere in the Mediterranean, where he's fabulous and topless in a man-sarong and she's...you know, sort of confusing. And that's the extent of the article I read. Then I stared blankly at my monitor for half an hour while I imagined the smell of his chest. I think it's sort of coconutty with a hint of red wine...and just the tiniest bit of sweat, but not bad sweat...good sweat. I'm reasonably certain that's the only permissible response to the image of a shirtless sarong-clad Johnny Depp. Also acceptable would be a long wistful sigh and a shifting in one's chair. After consulting with an expert on the subject (my friend Tasha) I have found that the following is also an appropriate reaction:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
no beer belly, just enough muscle definition to run my tongue across....
i'm sorry are we live?
are we still on the air?
That pretty much sums it up, gang.
Source: Daily Mail
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