So You Think You Can...dress like a deranged genie and lip sync?

I try to be honest with you guys, even about my most embarrassing obsessions. You know of my love for really bad reality television. You know how I yearn for Harry Potter's kiss. You know that I watch The Ghost Whisperer. Well, maybe you didn't know that yet, but now you do and I'm not ashamed--Jennifer Love Hewitt has the most amazing yet confusing wardrobe, and who WOULDN'T want to watch a young antiques dealer help lost souls finish their earthly business and then cross over to the other side all while draped entirely in winter white, right down to her winter white over the knee boots, smack dab in the middle of summer? What I'm saying is: watch it.

As you well know, on the list of my terrible reality t.v. tivo list is So You Think You Can Dance. Last night would have been entirely wondrous for me (Cedric and Shauna finally get the boot! Danny does amazing leaps that force me to question the wheareabouts of his genitals! An opening number from Hairspray! The cast of Hairspray desperately trying to get into the two second camera shot of them in the audience!) if it weren't for the inclusion of Hilary Duff. I was mildly interested in hearing a song off of her new album, as I hear it's ripe with hatred of Nicole Richie and mourning for Joel Madden. That mild interest disappeared as soon as she walked on stage wearing a genie costume turned down by Christina Aguilera in 2000, and for good reason. Hot pink, honey? She then proceeded to "sing" (lip sync) while every so often pointing her hands off in this direction or that, randomly touching her face, or twitching her hips in the manner of a horse swatting a fly with a tail. But she has no tail, see, so methinks she was "dancing." And "dancing" such as this would not have even allowed her into episode one of The Pussycat Dolls Presents: The Search For The Next Doll, I can tell you that for free. Not to mention that she looks entirely bored, and bored is not a look that is appealing to the masses. As Nigel pointed out to Danny and Anya, there is something MISSING here and you must find a way to connect with the audience, lest you wish to find yourself in the bottom three every week. Nigel is wise, sugar. Maybe if you had looked above the mark you clearly set your gaze upon on the ground in front of you, you would have noticed that Wade Robson is in the audience! Perk up! It looks like you are in desperate need of a choreographer, and while Wade likely has better things to do (looking pensive and intense while he receives praise for his choreography in the manner one expects to see of those receiving the Nobel Prize in Chemistry or the Franklin Medal comes to mind) maybe if you're nice he'll help you out so you can move both of your arms at the same time. Imagine!