This Guy Seems to Have Life All Figured Out

Dear Crazy Britney Fan,

You're out of your gods damned mind.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mel

P.S. Hiding under a sheet while you make your video doesn't mean the leather-clad gentleman in the next room is loading the tranquilizer gun any more slowly.

P.P.S. Please see Pete Wentz's "Tips on Guyliner" before attempting this look again. I don't condone it, but if you're gonna do it, do it right. Spring for some MAC so that shit doesn't run when you masturbate with a knife while "Oops...I Did it Again" plays on repeat, for crying out loud.