Criss Angel- not so much a "mindfreak" as much as "just a freak".

EDIT: I thought I posted this like... three days ago. Sorry fans.

First off, I know this has already been covered to death... but I feel the need to follow up on my previous posting in light of current events.

Britney. *shakes head* Britney, Britney, Britney. I tried to tell you, didn't I? You can blame your stilletto heels, or your last minute change of routine, but we all know what the real problem is, don't we honey?

I don't like to say I told you so, but... I did.

And with that said, since he's been brought up, I'd now like to rip on Criss Angel for a while.

Criss Angel, as some of you are no doubt painfully aware, is a big pile of refuse that fell off the goth wagon and landed in David Copperfield's old routine, then skidded through a puddle of Yuri Gellar before coming to a stop on the edge of a red carpet somewhere. Apparently, he and Britney are now somehow tangentally involved, and her big comeback special the other night was botched because MTV decided at the last minute that having Senor Angeles bamfing Brit all over the stage would be "too complex".

Now, I've seen a few episodes of Angel's show. I have to say I wasn't really impressed. I've seen hypnosis and levitation and all that before, and the "I'm so Xcore" spin doesn't really do anything to jazz it up. But I was even less impressed with Criss himself.

I mean, look at the guy. I... don't even know what that looks like. I do know if I saw it running around in my backyard, I'd get out the compound bow. Also, what's with the minicuffs and all the silver chains/dangles? Is he trying to be the white Mister T or something? Guy's wearing more crosses than the Pope at a funeral. And that hair... sweet Buddha, the hair! It's like Amy Winehouse got caught in the rain without a bonnet. At least he's not all guylinered and eye-shadowed up in the above photo. On the last two episodes of Mindfreak I caught, dude had on more make up than Bozo the Clown.

Wow, three pop culture references in one paragraph, two of them from the 80s. Add in the papal wisecrack, and I am seriously on my game today, folks.

But seriously, what the hell? You'd think a guy who can make people pass out from looking at a poster could at least afford a wardrobe that didn't look like it came from Hot Topic. Although, given the exorbitant prices Hot Topic charges for vinyl hot pants and faux-ironic Nintendo shirts, you'd about have to be rich to shop there.

As with most people who are vaguely famous, I don't get the hype around this guy. And personally, I think Britney was all uncoordinated because she was still coming up out of whatever trance this guy put on her to get in her sequined panties. But, that's just my take on it.

Criss Angel Dating Cameron Diaz

Criss Angel, pictured above about to make the world a better place, is reportedly dating Cameron Diaz. Angel is best known for his work as a magician on that show Mindfreak. The couple was spotted making the rounds in Las Vegas, because that's where magicians are born and where they go to die. In between they usually play birthday parties.

The pair began their evening with dinner at the Bellagio’s Prime steakhouse, then rode to the Mirage in Angel’s Rolls Royce for the 10:30 p.m. performance of Cirque du Soleil’s Beatles tribute LOVE. The smiling duo walked arm-in-arm into the theater through the main entrance, and throughout the show, a witness tells People, “They were snuggling with each other and he was making her laugh. They seemed really happy.”

So last week Cameron was talking about totally being the most popular kid in the class, and now she's dating the loner who sat at the back of the class, didn't talk to anybody, and was always rumored to kill animals in the backyard.

I'm pretty sure what happened is this: Cameron was having a big party at her house, right next door to Criss Angel's house. She wore her mom's hot little $1,000 dress, but she spilled wine on it. It just so happens that creepy Criss Angel was watching through his telescope (he wasn't invited, you see), and he happened to have $1,000 saved up to buy a new magic wand or something. He offered to give her the money to buy a new dress for Cameron so she wouldn't get in trouble, but now she has to pretend like she's going out with him. Later on, he'll get too big for his britches, and she'll realize how superficial he's become, even though she was secretly falling in love with him. He'll fall from grace, but then they'll live happily ever after when she finds him mowing lawns. Then a Beatles song will play.

Source: Allie Is Wired

Related Posts: Cameron Diaz Is a Cheerleader Whore, and I Heard That She Went ALL THE WAY With Justin. For Reals. No Joke.