Don't Eff With Suresh: A Look at Tonight's Heroes Premiere

Even though our keyword activity points toward the notion that we have mostly fans of Britney and Lindsay here and very little else, I shall continue this season with my weekly Heroes clips. Below you'll find seven clips of tonight's season premiere, which looks...sort of boring. Suresh is still hot and pouty, Claire's hair has lost some of it's bounce and she predictably befriends a geeky outsider at her new school, and there's two new Mexicans running from...something. Oh, and Hiro is still strangely adorable. I wish I could say I have high hopes for this season, but since last season ended with a Hallmark-inspired whimper, I'll be keeping my options open. I can still re-watch the Paradise Hotel marathon, if need be.

As the second volume of “Heroes” begins, the fates of Peter (Milo Ventimiglia), Nathan (Adrian Pasdar) and Matt (Greg Grunberg) are revealed, following the horrible showdown with Sylar (Zachary Quinto) and Peter’s uncontrolled nuclear detonation miles above New York City. As everyone attempts to move on, a new sinister force begins stalking and murdering Heroes. With the family hiding in Southern California, H.R.G. (Jack Coleman) and Claire (Hayden Panettiere) attempt to live as inconspicuously as possible, which proves to be easier said than done. Meanwhile, after landing in feudal Japan, Hiro (Masi Oka) meets his hero Takezo Kensei (David Anders). Twins Maya (Dania Ramirez) and Alejandro Herrera (Shalim Ortiz) hope to make the crossing into the U.S. from Mexico, in hopes of finding help with their deadly abilities.

Source: Heroes the Series

Claire and Peter Bump Pink Parts

So the newest little buzz around Hayden Panettiere is that she's opened up her heart and her vagina for co-star, Milo Ventimiglia:

Hayden and Milo get cozy, comfy and intimate at the Duran Duran concert staged at Disney Hall in downtown Los Angeles, an official after-party of the Emmy Awards. They seem quite in love as they touch and take pictures in the midst of the crowd, and towards the end of the sequence Hayden spots our tiny video camera recording it all across the crowded hall.

Eh. I mean, sure, they're dancing. And they take a picture together. And she rubs her newly legal tushy all up on his d...but I'm not sure any of this merits the captions of "secret love" or "lovers" that were so cleverly added to the video. I'm disappointed, to be sure. Not only was there none of the "intimacy" promised, but they certainly didn't appear to be "quite in love," and there was absolutely no sign of crumping. I saw Bring it On: All or Nothing, Hayden. I expect better of you. Namely, I expect you to bring it.

Source: Hollywood.tv

Perez is Such a Twat

Perez asks the question "Heroes star Hayden Panettiere, 17, is holding this vibrating dildo because _______."

The entire world answers "Because of photoshop, Perez. Because of photoshop."

Is it possible to despise his antics more than I already do? The answer is a loud and resounding "YES!" Christ, Perez, google that shit first, man.

(original unphotoshopped pic here at celebritystyleguide.com and here at wwtdd. It took 30 seconds to find this. Gods, it was exhausting.)

Judge This...

Cindy Crawford Topless Pics...I guess there's still a demographic for this somewhere- Egotastic

This chick's still knocked up and still marrying Usher. Wow, that's like every probably seven or eight girl's dreams, at least- A Socialite's Life

Kirsten Dunst ruins Islington. What a bitch- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

The Simple Life canceled. More importantly, those cereal Nazis brought back Count Chocula, FrankenBerry, and Boo Berry for like three weeks and then took it away again. So not cool- Cele|bitchy

Britney's sad ass in a thong and some fishnets. You shouldn't look, but you will- Hollywood Rag

Remember when Rose McGowan was pretty? Yea, you won't see any of that pretty here- ICYDK

Naked Heidi Klum! (Also known as "Headlines that draw search engine traffic")- Tasteful Society

Scarlett Johannsson to play the role of Jenna Jameson Scarlett Johannson will absolutely not be playing the role of Jenna Jameson- The Evil Beet

Paranoid delusions are SOOOOO cute: Britney thinks someone's gon' steal her babbies- poponthepop

Angelina says you can't say Shiloh out loud without her permission, or something- Faded Youth

Hayden Panettiere can't seem to be photographed in an appropriate manner EVER. Poor lamb- Dlisted

Nathan's a Total Bitch, and Other Musings on Tonight's Heroes

Nathan's a bitch. So is Peter. Claire whines a lot. I hope these clips are the sort that make you think one thing is going to happen, but something else happens entirely. Because if Nathan is really going to go along with his bitch mother instead of helping his brother, I will punch Adrian Pasdar on principle alone. Then I'll punch Milo Ventimiglavanderputtenlongnameguy for not reading his brother's mind . Jesus Christ, people. You're trying to save the world, here. Maybe try a little organization? You get organized and save the world, and maybe I'll stop holding the actions of your fictional characters against you as a person. Deal?

With Isaac’s (Santiago Cabera) horrible predictions all unfolding before them, the everyday people with extraordinary abilities face moments of pain and peril in Kirby Plaza with unflinching heroism, as “Heroes” first volume comes to a close — and the next surprisingly begins.

...What a shit synopsis. I now officially hate the episode guide people, whoever they are.

Source: Heroes the Series

Related Posts: Peter Channels His Inner Keanu
Future Hiro is Hot

Nathan Rapes Claire...Oh, You Bastard

I'm sure that there's some really innocent explanation for these pictures. Like Adrian Pasdar is just tickling Hayden Panettiere, which would be the obvious and sensible conclusion to jump to. It would evoke these really pleasant and heartwarming images of the cast of Heroes loving every second of their time together while making the show, and we could imagine this really cool yet creepy Drew/Lucy/Cameron chemistry between the whole lot of them. They'd say things like "these people are my family," and "we all talk to each other every single day, we're very very close," and "I can't imagine my life without these wonderful people," as they all held hands during their group visits to Oprah and Letterman. The fellas would pick on the gals like loving older brothers, the gals would gush about how they'd scoop every one of those fellas up and marry them right quick, if they weren't so darned brotherly. Oh, that Heroes gang is just so darned sweet...that's why Adrian Pasdar is lovingly tickling his cute underage "sister." That's one explanation. The easy explanation. The boring explanation.

I prefer to imagine that Adrian Pasdar is Akon-ing the underage Hayden right there on the red carpet at the NBC Upfronts. He's had just about enough of her stealing the show as the sweet innocent cheerleader giving her all to save the world, while he gets written as the villain week after week. You think you're so cute, huh Claire? Huh? Meet the man of steel, baby.

Source: Egotastic


Related Posts: Hayden Panettiere Looks Younger Than I Thought
Future Hiro is Hot
Hayden Panettiere Wants to Help People
Hayden Panettiere Is Sexy and Illegal
Hayden Panettiere Is Common

Hayden Panettiere Wants to Help People

Hayden Panettiere, shown above making you feel guilty for masturbating to Heroes last night, just wants to help people. Like Angelina Jolie.

"I'll possibly be doing what Angelina Jolie does - go over there and bring food. It was eye-opening, seeing shanty towns. It makes you thankful for what you have but at the same time you admire how simple life is in other places."

I had something all snarky to say about this, but you know what? Good for her. Sure, she has an overly rosy view of things, and to think that all Angelina does is "go over there and bring food" is a bit simplistic, but I still admire the desire to get involved and help where people are less fortunate.

Plus, she's pretty. We all know that less fortunate people like to see pretty people, so there's that.

Source: Glitterati

Related Posts: Hayden Panettiere Looks Younger Than I Thought

Hayden Panettiere Looks Younger Than I Thought

Hayden Panettiere was recently spotted walking her dog and looking like she's 12. That makes me feel uncomfortable for the way I looked at her when I was watching Heroes last night. Though to be fair, it was set 5 years in the future, so she was playing at least a 21 year old.

I guess "She told me it was 5 years in the future, officer" wouldn't be a very convincing way to beat a statch rap, eh?

Source

Future Hiro is Hot

Yea, I said it. He is. I think it's the sword/soul patch combo. Anyway, here's three pretty sick scenes from chapter 20 of Heroes, due to air tomorrow night. If you're the sort of person who takes issue with spoilers making their way to the internet, fuck yourself.

HEROES - Chapter 20: Five Years Gone
Hiro and Ando find themselves five years after the destruction of New York City. People with extraordinary abilities are labeled as terrorists and are being registered, hunted, and killed. Hiro and Ando meet up with darker versions of the other heroes in preparation for a showdown with the President. This includes a darker side of Matt, a Jessica/Niki with a clear winner in their battle, a brown-haired Claire, and a man named Andy, who's a big hearted Texan. It also features an event at an upscale gentleman's club.

Source

Hayden Panettiere is Sexy and Illegal

Hayden Panettiere, known as an actress with fabulous hair firstly and for licking strange objects secondly, has been listed among the ten sexiest women alive, according to British readers of FHM.

I'm not sure how entirely interesting or alarming this is. TMZ questions whether or not this ranking (she was ranked #6) is "hot" or "creepy". Eh...she's 17. It's not like we're talking about a twelve year old here. THAT would be icky. But seventeen is gosh darn close to being legal to the masses. I mean...there's a damn good reason they have an age of consent and a law for this sort of thing, you know. And that reason is that seventeen year-olds are hot and folks tend to want to sleep with them. Maybe I'll have a different take on this when Daniel Radcliffe is of consenting age and my Hogwarts-ridden fantasies aren't a badge of shame. Until then, I say good for Hayden (but please stop licking things).

Source

Hayden Panettiere is Common

Little Miss "Don't ever call me Lindsay again," appears to have decided that the best way to not be mistaken for Lindsay Lohan is to act just like her. As you can see above, there's Hayden licking some girl's boob. How classy. Pseudo-lesbianism. That ought to help that image.

There are so many things about this that irritate the hell out of me that I don't even know where to start. To kick it off, let me just say how much the fake lesbian "kiss my friends in public so the boys will notice" thing pisses me off. A lot. That's how much. As soon as girls hit thirteen anymore they suddenly claim to be bi-curious. You're not bi-curious. You're just sort of slutty and lacking a bit of class.

And secondly: YOU'RE CLAIRE BENNET! I refuse, damn it, REFUSE to allow Claire Bennet to act this way. I sucked it up and turned away when you made a Bring it On sequel. I closed my eyes and pretended I didn't see that you recorded a pop album. But I can't ignore this. This is common and predictable behavior that's already been done to death. You're well on your way to becoming yet another Hollywood prostitot. Congratulations. Pick up your Valtrex at the door and make yourself comfy.