Showing posts with label Jack Nicholson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jack Nicholson. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Owen Wilson Has Shitty Friends and Colleagues




By now you've all heard that the man with the ugliest nose in Hollywood attempted suicide. I don't mean to make light of it, because I like his work and I feel for those in the grips of depression. That's what made this news all the more shocking to me.


It’s hush-hush and strictly confidential, but tragic comedy star Owen Wilson didn’t “quit” his movie after that drug-fueled suicide bid - my spy reveals he was actually fired by pal Ben Stiller and mogul Steven Spielberg… although both agonized endlessly over how to deliver the blow without sending him over the edge! Even as Wilson was rushed to Cedars-Sinai, director Stiller and producer Spielberg - under the gun because “Tropic Thunger” rolls next month - huddled desperately, debating two major points: (1) Could Wilson recover fast enough to handle the grueling shoot; and (2) would insurers of the multimillion Dreamworks flick underwrite a drug-taker/suicide risk?


This news is shocking, but not as shocking as the fact that a Naitonal Enquirer columnist apparently thinks there's' a film in production called "Tropic Thunger." I can't say those two words to myself without laughing. Try it. "Tropic Thunger." Heh. "Tropic Thunger." Heh. See?

But anyway, with friends like these, who needs crippling bouts of depression and suicide attempts? Is it not possible to put a hold on shooting until one of the stars gets out of the hospital? I guess my basic human decency would be nothing but a liability in Hollywood.

Most importantly, though, I wonder how they'll get a nose as horrifying as Owen Wilson's to replace him in "Tropic Thunger." Heh. The only ones that immediately come to mind are these two.

1) Jared Leto in Fight Club



2) Jack Nicholson in Chinatown


Please pick the best nose in the comments.
Source: Celebitchy