Kim Kardashian is Shy

I've had about enough of this girl and her "oops, I totally didn't mean to show you my ass" ways, but whatever. She's news and search engine traffic, for sure. So along comes news of Kim Kardashian and her Playboy spread:

A Playboy source tells Us that Kardashian's shoot reveals more than originally planned. Though her body is mostly draped in sheets and jewelry, the source says that Kardashian "will show one boob, and her bare butt."

Kardashian's 12-page pictorial "will be one of the longest spreads Hef has done in a long time," says the source. In fact, the source says, Kardashian and Hef are choosing the final photos for the spread today.

And of course, scenes from the Playboy shoot will show up in Kardashian's upcoming E! reality show.

Yea. I'm sure the spread reveals more than was originally planned. Because when you set up a twelve page spread with Playboy, you bring along your turtlenecks and expect to talk Tolstoy. Why can't she just once own up to the fact that she does, indeed, want you to see her naked? Hmmm? I might respect that, just a teensy bit. Not much, but a little, and that's got to count for something. But no, she's all "Oh noes! My private sex tape leaked to the internet and now people actually know who I am," and "Yea, I posed in Playboy, and oh my God my BOOB slipped out! Can you believe it? I'm so embarrassed!" Kim. Kim. Honey...seriously. I've seen your labia. Let's drop the coy act, okay?


Source: Us Weekly

This is Not Okay

I can get over Kim Kardashian posing for Playboy, because you knew it was going to happen eventually. Anyone who took such time and dedication to release their own sex tape and then allowed themselves to be photographed in the company of Paris Hilton is clearly dedicated to bringing themselves to pseudo-celebrity status by any means possible. But there comes a point when one crosses the line on the way to tabloid stardom, and Kim Kardashian has crossed that line:

Kim Kardashian just loves to get naked for the cameras. The voluptuous daughter of O.J. Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian recently stripped down for Playboy. "The photos have been already shot. I don't know if they show everything," a source tells us. Presumably, the snaps won't show as much as the notorious sex tape Kardashian made with rapper Ray J. Meanwhile, Kim was partying Saturday with Denise Richards at the Playboy Mansion at a benefit for the Nicole Brown Foundation.

I'm okay with everything I read there except for that last line. And for once, it's not the Denise Richards portion of the sentence that's irking me. No, it's the NICOLE BROWN FOUNDATION portion of it. In case you're not following, Kim Kardashian is daughter to Robert Kardashian. Robert Kardashian was one of O.J. Simpson's attorneys. O.J. Simpson killed Nicole Brown. What better way to honor the spirit of the woman and raise awareness about domestic violence then to display Robert Kardashian's paycheck from the 1994 murder trial in the form of his daughter's plastic ass at an event for the cause? I don't know who put together the guest list for this thing, but I hope like hell they're being beaten by one of Kendra's shoes right now.

P.S. Baby pandas are better than WENN photos of Kim Kardashian in front of the Nicole Brown Foundation banner any day.

Source: NY Post

Doing Her Family Proud: The Kim Kardashian Story

Kim Kardashian, famous for following in her late father's footsteps by getting a black man off, may have gotten butt implants. Or maybe she didn't. It's old news, but I've had a busy work week and I'm trying to catch up with the blogging now, alright? Fuck, lay off already. Anyway, here she is showing off either her new ass implants or her naturally full ass. For something that happened earlier this week that you already know SO much about, you'd think you'd know which it was by now, eh smart guy? That's what I thought.

Source: IDLYITW

Reggie Bush's Syphilis Will Soon Start to Show

Reggie Bush, shown above being protected by his tiny metal bodyguard, is officially dating Kim Kardashian. Yeah, that Kim Kardashian. The one whose father helped keep O.J. Simpson free. The one who has a sex tape currently on the market. That one.

If the NFL doesn't have rules against this kind of thing, they should. What was that one guy last year? Ben Roethlisberger, right? He got in a motorcycle accident, and the NFL went batshit crazy because he wasn't supposed to be risking his health like that. I'd think that banging Kim Kardashian is at least as much of a health risk as riding a motorcycle. Without a helmet. Into a tree. On fire.

Source: Bumpshack

Kim Kardashian Is Modest

Kim Kardashian, pictured above totally not having given her consent for that tape to be released, is worried about the repercussions of her publicly available sexcapade.

I’m just so relieved that this chapter of my life is now over… I never wanted everyone to think of me as Kim Kardashian, sex tape star.”

I still have to live with the embarrassment and fear that one day my grandkids are going to see it.

Over? This chapter of her life is over? I'm pretty sure this is the only chapter of her life. The table of contents will read like this:

Preface: My Father Helped Keep O.J. Out of Prison

Chapter 1: That Sex Tape

Epilogue: My Tragic (Yet Inevitable) Death Due to Complications of Syphilis, Chlamydia and Gonorrhea

Source: Yeeeah

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This Season's Hottest New Trend: MySpace CatFights. Meow, Baby

Reading this will make you a bad person. Or at least make you feel like one. It's at least 60 seconds of your life that you won't get back, more if you follow the links to read the original posts in all their glory. I'm not saying not to read it, just letting you know that you'll be less of a person for engaging in the asininity when you're done. Having said that:

Haylie Duff got served, y'all. By Kim Kardashian. But apparently Haylie has now "brought it" and we can therefore conclude that, officially, "it's on."

These two pseudo-celebrities (you should know their ranking by now, Haylie is worse for being famous by blood relation, with Kim following in a close second for attaining celebrity status by leaking her own sex tape) apparently have some drama. Drama that includes Paris Hilton, junior high name calling, and maybe debate over who had the prettier pony whilst growing up. Either way, it's ridiculous, and due to the wonderful world of MySpace, it's public.

After exchanging some sugary kiss ass messages that ended in Kim turning coat on Haylie, a blog was posted to Haylie's account lashing back. Click the thumbnails, enjoy the ride. You don't need my commentary to understand that they have the IQ's of oysters. And I've spent enough time on this anyway, that South Park clip was hell to get my hands on.

Click these little bitches twice to get the full size...I don't really know what I'm doing.


Source: The Blemish

Judge This...

Still don't know who Peter and Jordan are, but apparently one of them is sick, y'all- A Socialite's Life

Dannielynn's flight lands. Says Daniellyn: "Someone stole my in-flight vegetarian plate...the nerve of some people these days"- Defamer

Linday forgets her shirt, self respect- Hollywoodtuna

New Kelly Clarkson video: only slightly less hideous then walking in on your parents and their new experimental leather fetish- JustJared

Kim Kardashian is pretty much just a whore- Fatback and Collards

Joe Francis Getting Raped is Funny- Liquid Generation