Judge This...

Cindy Crawford Topless Pics...I guess there's still a demographic for this somewhere- Egotastic

This chick's still knocked up and still marrying Usher. Wow, that's like every probably seven or eight girl's dreams, at least- A Socialite's Life

Kirsten Dunst ruins Islington. What a bitch- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

The Simple Life canceled. More importantly, those cereal Nazis brought back Count Chocula, FrankenBerry, and Boo Berry for like three weeks and then took it away again. So not cool- Cele|bitchy

Britney's sad ass in a thong and some fishnets. You shouldn't look, but you will- Hollywood Rag

Remember when Rose McGowan was pretty? Yea, you won't see any of that pretty here- ICYDK

Naked Heidi Klum! (Also known as "Headlines that draw search engine traffic")- Tasteful Society

Scarlett Johannsson to play the role of Jenna Jameson Scarlett Johannson will absolutely not be playing the role of Jenna Jameson- The Evil Beet

Paranoid delusions are SOOOOO cute: Britney thinks someone's gon' steal her babbies- poponthepop

Angelina says you can't say Shiloh out loud without her permission, or something- Faded Youth

Hayden Panettiere can't seem to be photographed in an appropriate manner EVER. Poor lamb- Dlisted

Paris and Nicole Are Lying Liars Who Lie

This painfully simple clip is supposed to be Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie making up after their famed "feud" for the upcoming season of The Simple Life. And except for it being entirely scripted and planned, and for the fact that it's in a restaurant when Nicole clearly doesn't eat and Paris isn't ordering off any menu that doesn't serve cock, it's really heartwarming. Paris sits shooting daggers into Nicole as she tells her that she didn't say "half" that stuff and blames the tabloids for making it up. Then she tells Paris that she can smell her lady garden and asks her to wear slacks during the next shot to barricade a bit of it back into the delta from whence it came. Then Paris smacks her with a baguette, and Nicole bursts into flames from having been touched by actual food. Then the screen goes all black and the emergency broadcast system comes on. And you know what? Fuck these two for saying anything has ever been made up about them. When you act like this, there's no need to delve into one's imagination for material. Seriously.